While I am sure that you are well aware of the odd assortment of people who make up the Sarah Palin fandom, I thought you might enjoy this little walk through the village of crazy:
I always enjoy reading the blogs of those who are dedicated die hard Sarah Palin fans because they are uniquely entertaining in their devotion and delusions. They truly believe she is a political heavyweight and don’t question the policy pieces being posted on face book as her own, when they obviously are not, nor are they written by her as we have seen the way she speaks and her “I Quit” speech was a very good indication that she writes just like she speaks. Scrambled thoughts, disjointed sentences, lack of proper grammar usage, and the inability to stay on message for more than a moment or two.
Now, I’ve said for a while now that her “fans” are more in line with groupies or cult members than they are supporters of a politician with whom they agree. Their dedication is total and complete, allowing no dissent to be heard or even discussed, and should you attempt to voice concerns you are immediately attacked from all sides for not having enough faith in her and her decisions, and you will be forever questioned on any opinion you offer thereafter.
The examples of comedy are endless, but some which I thought you might enjoy reading are as follows.
One of her supporters called “Whitney the Pipsqueak” has started a blog called “The LOTUS (Laptop Of The United States)” . Now this website seems to be a running commentary from Sarah Palin’s laptop with whom this Whitney person has allocated a brain and a voice. Whitney has also listed the “cast of characters” from this blog for all to see who is talking or being discussed at any given time.
Madame 45- Governor Sarah Palin
*First Dude- Todd Palin
*The Great Opologizer- President Barack Obama
*Vice President Hair Plugs- Vice President Joe Biden
*Softy Southpaws- Liberals
*TOTUS- Teleprompter of the United States, President *Obama's teleprompter
*LOTUS- Laptop of the United States, Governor Palin's laptop, shrinking government one Facebook post and op-ed at a time!
Now one example of a post is as follows (please remove any liquids from your mouth prior to moving forward, and swallow any food stuffs you might have in your mouth as I refuse to be held responsible for damages incurred)
Friday, August 14, 2009
A message from the LOTUS ( the Laptop of the United States)
It has been quite the busy week since returning from New York. Madame 45 (that's what I call Governor Palin) and I have been writing up a storm the past several days. We've spent a lot of time on Microsoft Word because Madame wants to make sure that her footnotes were formatted correctly ( I prefer to call them heelnotes-- Madame has a great shoe collection). But, I haven't just spent time on Microsoft Word. We have spent a lot of time on
Google and Pub Med. Madame 45 does such a good job supporting her thoughts on TOTUS's health care plan with these things called facts. Now, I'm good friends with the TOTUS, and he was unfamiliar with "facts". Apparently, they don't come across his screen too often. I was happy to describe this concept to him. I want to make sure that he understands facts. If he happens to be kept on staff during the transition in 2012, he will see a lot of them. But, I digress.
We have also spent hours reading the House's health care bill. I'm glad that Madame 45 is good about the Adobe Reader updates, or I might have a malfunction. That pdf is long! But, I need to get used to the long hours. Madame 45 is writing a book too! I've seen some excerpts, and, doggone it, it is good! I don't want divulge too much information, but let me tell you, it is going to be huge! We may need another "stimulus" package next spring, and Madame's book will definitely provide a big boost to the paper, ink, and bookstore industry!
I've enjoyed spending time on facebook. It seems like every time we surf over to that site, there are more and more people who want to read what Madame 45 has written. I think it has had an effect too! I like to surf over to this site from time-to-time. I'm not really sure if Madame 45 knows that I do it, but maybe she visits sometimes too! I'm not sure!
On a lighter note, I love the Alaskan summers! The sun stays out so long! Sometimes, Madame 45 and I will sit out on the deck overlooking Lake Lucille. Sometimes she lets Trig and I spend some time together. It tickles when he tries to talk to me! I can't believe how big he is getting! He is precious, and it makes me so mad when people demean him! Piper and Willow are headed back to school soon! I will miss them. First Dude 45 is quite a guy too! He tells me about the salmon runs. Oh, I wish I could make a trip to Dillingham sometime, but I only have limited battery power. Plus, I'm hydrophobic. Bristol and Tripp are fun to be around too! I'm very proud of Bristol! I can't wait until Track gets back from Iraq! I'm so thankful for his service.
Ok, I suppose I should get back to work. We may possibly be spending some time on Twitter soon again. Although, Madame 45 often uses the BOTUS (Blackberry of the United States) for that job. Madame's friend Greta said on TV tonight that we may be skypeing soon. We'll see. I don't know if Greta was teasing or serious. I'll have to wait on the word from the boss.
So yes, this person is actually writing a blog as if it is from the point of view of a laptop. Now if that wasn’t strange enough, I’ve also found some comments (no I won’t link to the site where I found them) from some of Sarah’s fans which I think are more than enough verification showing just how delusional they truly are.
On one of the different blogs the Question was asked:
If you could have dinner with Sarah....
I'm at the airport.
First I would be tongue-tied. She'd ask me why I was tongue-tied but I'd just smile and say, "I'm just really happy to see you." Then she'd give me a big hug and lead me to the car after going through baggage claim. She'd ask me to call her Sarah, but I will say I can't because it's my parents rules that I can't call an elder by their first name. She'll settle for Mrs. Sarah instead.
We'd have dinner at her house of course. She'd make moose chili after me telling her I've never had moose before. Piper will want to show off her room. Bristol would be nurseing Tripp but talking with me too. Willow would be kind of shy but soon I'd make her laugh, which will make Todd holler, "What's going on in there?"
We'd have dinner-I'd say blessing. Then afterwards I'd make my grandmother's chocolate pie, which the whole family will devour except Trig, because he played with it more than eat.
Then I would go outside and lay down, looking at the stars. Gov. Palin would lay beside me and we would talk girl stuff. I would have a hotel reservation, but Gov. Palin would insist that I would stay with her.
Another from "Jane"
Jane Austen, September 18, 2009 8:06 PM
I made up a story about how Madame and LOTUS met for the first time. I posted it on LOTUS's blog but I'm going to post here as well.
Feedback would be nice! ;)
Madame 45 was typing away on me, as she usually does. Sometimes it gets tiring, but most of the time it was thrilling, as usually I ask the question- “What are we going to write about next?”
Always something good.
Until today, whereas I became confused.
WAIT- WHAT? I asked, my words flashing across my screen (she knows then I’m talking to her).
“It’s Constitution Day LOTUS- I thought you knew that,” Madame 45 said.
“Did you even look at the date?”
MY DATABASE DIDN’T NOTICE ANYTHING ABOUT THE 17TH OF SEPTEMBER.
Madame 45 sighed. “Were you even awake this morning?”
Madame 45 set her jaw in a firm line. “I rest my case.”
WHAT IS CONSTITUTION DAY? I asked.
“It’s the day that our founders signed the framework for our country. It’s a very important document that spells out what the three branches are and what they do.”
AH. SO, IT’S LIKE, WELL, REALLY IMPORTANT.
Madame 45 nodded. “Very.” She started typing again.
Again, I interrupted her.
BUT WAIT- ISN’T THERE PARADES OR SOMETHING?
“It’s not exactly the Fourth.” She took off her glasses, fogged them up, and rubbed the lenses on her t-shirt. “So there aren’t parades or fireworks or anything.”
ISN’T IT MORE IMPORTANT THOUGH?
“Well, more or less. In my opinion it’s better, because the framework is actually laid out for our country. We start building the rules that day.”
SO IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT.
Madame 45 smiled. “In my opinion, it is.”
I thought about the info she just told me and scanned it into my hard drive. I PROBABLY SHOULD TELL TOTUS I said thoughtfully.
“You can- after I finish typing this and putting it out on Facebook.”
BUT I WANT TO DO IT NOW! I cried.
“LOTUS…” Madame 45 said warningly.
I gulped. SORRY MADAME.
She smiled and kept typing.
A couple minutes later, with shifting of positions on the couch, she clicked “Post”.
“Did you really want me to finish that bad?
Madame rolled her eyes. “Funny.”
I JUST WANT TO EMAIL TOTUS I said.
“Go ahead- just make sure it’s VERY CLEAR and hopefully he’ll understand,” teased Madame.
LIKE THE TIME YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ME?
“Like the time I first met you?” Madame rolled her eyes again (she does that a lot, especially at liberals). “You practically made me think I’m insane, talking to a laptop.”
I smiled. I REMEMBER THAT WELL.
December 16, 2008
One month, fourteen days after Election Day
As soon as someone opened my lid, it was a match made for heaven (but really, I didn’t know it at the time.
I saw this woman staring at my screen in Best Buy.
“It’s perfect,” she said, turning to the man next to her. “This is the one.”
First of all, I didn’t have almost any interactions with humans, so I was quite insulted when she called me an “it”. Laptops (and other electronics) have sensitive memories, so I was sure that insult would not be forgotten.
I was taken that same day.
That night, she was setting me up, getting of rid of all the crap/junk that clogs up my hard drive and makes it hard to breathe.
“Oh, Todd, I love it. Thank you so much,” she said as she kissed him.
Go get a room, I thought.
Plus, she said “it” again.
A couple of days later, she booted me up again. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to her, so I didn’t, staying quiet. Suddenly, I think one of her kids cried out so she got up and went outside to see what the matter was.
I went ahead and went on the internet, and to my surprise, a picture of my owner it seemed was front-page news! I couldn’t believe it. Was it possible that my owner, the human lady that called me “it” with no respect for electronics, was the vice-president candidate for the Republican Party?
I needed proof.
Turns out that she was forty-five, had five kids, and lived in Alaska. Whoa, I thought, my owner is, like, famous!
I had to speak to her.
When she came back, I prepared myself.
HI, I said.
She scrunched her eyebrows. “Huh? Who’s IM-ing me?”
NOBODY IS IM-ING YOU, OWNER.
She shook her head. “Wait, what?”
YOU ARE MY OWNER. THIS IS YOUR LAPTOP SPEAKING TO YOU.
“No, no!” She pinched herself. “This is not real!”
IT IS. AND FOR THE RECORD, I AM NOT AN “IT”.
She stared at me for about a minute, and then shook her head.
“Can you hear me?” she asked timidly.
YES. THROUGH MY SPEAKERS.
She scrunched her eyebrows again. “Ok, this is really weird.”
SORRY- MRS. PALIN.
AREN’T YOU SARAH PALIN, THE VICE PRESIDENT CANIDATE FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND CURRENT GOVERNOR OF ALASKA?
I THOUGHT SO. I WASN’T SURE SO I LOOKED YOU UP ON WIKIPEDIA, I explained.
I’M VERY HUMBLED TO BE YOUR LAPTOP. BUT PLEASE, DON’T CALL ME AN “IT”- THERE ARE GIRL LAPTOPS AND BOY LAPTOPS FYI.
TOTUS. THE TELEPROMPTER OF THE UNITED STATES. OBAMA’S FRIEND.
“Wow,” she said a little timidly.
CAN I CALL YOU MADAME 45? I blurted, out of the blue.
“I- I guess so.”
THANK YOU MADAME.
Madame smiled for the first time. “You’re welcome- LOTUS. I shall call you LOTUS.”
That's only the beginning! :)
Now if that isn't funny or sad enough I've selected some random comments to show you the continued delusion of those who are the Sarah Palin fans.
Posted by Ron Devito
Today, it is right for me to pause....
My hero, my inspiration, my North Star, my guardian angel....my President. I will always follow your lead. I am your student and I am proud to have you as my teacher.
brad essex said...
Sarah looking great. I wonder if she'll make obama cry in public.
John Galt said...
When it comes to writing or not writing her own speeches people forget that she is degreed in communications and journalism.
Most likely Gov Palin has help with the research but she picks the topics and goes from there.
Besides in one story on the speech it stated that she did not and I emphasize did not speak from a written transcript but rather spoke from her personal notes.
So in truth she never wrote what she said. She spoke from bullet points that she and others researched under her direction.
September 23, 2009 3:15 PM
all the posts are great. I particularly love the recent ones by techno and charteroakie,
You're right. How can I love her more?
September 23, 2009 3:52 PM
Sarah is like Reagan in that she doesn't need advisors around her to TELL HER WHAT TO THINK, WHAT TO SAY OR HOW TO ACT. What she needs advisors more for is that they be her sounding board, to help her flesh out ideas with relevant facts, and to tell her their opinions on the consequences of saying certain things.
And she IMHO needs advisors to protect her from the Alinsky-like MSM.
Money Maven said... Alaska was spared from the financial meltdown because they had a practical frugal governor who was street smart and was a prudent small business operator. Yet many Ivy League univeristy graduate governors plunged their states into record deficits.
I think if anyone wants advice on running a good economy they should turn to Sarah Palin. She has a proven record in state governance.
I just added her to my twitter. I feel closer to her already.
tim c said.....
They are all hearing the footsteps of Sarah leading the American people marching to reclaim America,and they know they are the enemy.
5 days ago, 12:08:59 PM
Bogdan from Australia said...
Sarah Palin - The Face Of America. The Queen Of The Free People.
August 22, 2009 1:09 AM
Thank God Gov. Sarah Palin isn't the type to raise the white flag.
Sarah -- Keep talking loud and clear!
Sarah is a DRAGONSLAYER.
August 21, 2009 1:40 PM
TexMex said... Dude she's a friggin' pop icon.
All the more reason why I love wearing my Sarah P shirt.
Oh, and she's a damn fine writer. That's yummy too.
August 20, 2009 11:11 PM
As they say, the more Hollywood exploits her, the more popular she becomes! She is not only a "Rock Star", but she can now add "Movie Star" to her resume! Go Sarah!
August 21, 2009 3:24 PM
sarah is the leader right now.
August 20, 2009 4:15 PM
Obama is SO obsessed with Sarah Palin, oh man it's like she is already President. Obama is a scumbag
And lest you think that this is a recent development in the world of the Palin worshiper……
Grace Explosion said...
awesome... you did a great job detailing the story and bringing in how nasty the press is... it's ghoulish. Truly wicked witches are out to get Palin.
January 21, 2009 9:58 PM
Now we can't forget to mention some of the titles of the article they have written regarding their "Goddess":
*Associated Press of Mordor Attacks Palin Once Again*
*Sing, O Muse, of Palina, Huntress of Wasilla!*
*Major Bummer for the Bughouse Conspiracy Boobs*
*A Constant Craving for Sarah Palin Information*
*Another Side Of Sarah Palin: Financial Guru*
*Tapping into Your Inner-Rogue*
*The World NEEDS Sarah Palin As President*
Well, I hope that you have been as amused by this as I was.